O'Neil Newsletter Part Deux

The first O'Neil newsletter was a smashing succes, as defined by the well-known and validated metrics of:
-Number of death threats given to Christine (2)
-Number of new relationships after Newsletter #1 (3--I really do lose at this "game")
-Absolute (and relative) increase in competitiveness among the O'Neil family with regards to dating, courting, and making things "Facebook Official"
-Number of non-O'Neils (NO'Neils) requesting a newsletter.

I therefore created Newsletter #2, and with that sealed my newsletter-writing fate.

Because of the extreme competitive nature of any person bearing the O'Neil surname, I will no longer be able to continue this trend under fear that my Boise abode will be destroyed either internally or externally.

For me, for now, for the near future, however, it's time to go back to the Rattlesnake!