Travel Recaps

In my Carmen Sandiegan ways, I have continued to use my vacation days as "trip time". The new luggage requirements, however, preclude any transport of large national monuments. Also, security is getting tight.

Two trips: Haiti 2015 and Morocco 2016 attached with thoughts through the KTO lens.















Morocco here:





Haiti here:

Things I want on a Tank

11/27/2012
This is a post I found from August 2009, which had been saved as a "Draft". I took a look, and have ZERO recollection of writing this post, but I still want this picture on a tank, I think.


8/3/2009
This is a not-near-comprehensive list of pictures (i.e., one picture) I have found on the internet that I would like to have made into an article of clothing that I can wear around. Instant street cred.


This would be good for anime parties:

Hawaii not?

Well, I have completely succeeded in creating a new persona for myself 6000 miles away. Within one week of moving to Hawaii I have become entirely unrecognizable--I'm the Carmen Sandiego you never knew with a tendency toward giving away stolen landmark locations after a few too many Bud Light Limes with limes. Seriously, though, my transformation is complete. No longer would I be suspected as a gregarious sugar-loving  runner; I have switched to guava nectar and swimming (see, so tricky)! Gone are the days of tandem rides to candy picnics in the park, I now spend my days hosting formal dinner parties, wearing heels to work, and capping each night with a thought-provoking quote from a well-known author and a glass of chablis.

This is my way of saying, "Aloha". Before coming to Hawaii, I thought that aloha meant two things: "Hello" and "goodbye". However, I realized that this definition extended to dress code ("Aloha attire") as well as societal norms ("Aloha spirit"). The website Got Aloha describes the word as "ineffable, indescribable, and undefinable with words alone; to be understood, [aloha] must be experienced".  Boy is that right! Based on my research and experience, it has become clear to me that the vast majority of Hawaiian (as well as the small percentage of non-Hawaiian "Aloha-ers") are underusing this potentious word. The options are limitless! The dual nature of aloha comes in very handy for a variety of situations. For example,

"How was the date?" "Eh, Aloha"

"Man, we went out last night and this morning was like ALOha" (akin to "Woof")

"Dude, this S#*t is Aloha"

"I was getting all these vibes, and we went back to her place, but then I totally got the Aloha treatment!"

"Did you see her boyfriend? AloooHA." (can go both ways!)

The list goes on. "Aloha" can be used as an adjective, verb, conjunction, descriptive insult, etc. I must digress for a quick second to point out the obvious Indian puns as well (I can't wait to order Aloo-ha!).

In essence, "Aloha" accurately describes two things: 1) Tyra's "smize" concept, in which a person smiles with their eyes and not with their face-- a tricky way to bewitch an unsuspecting eye-contacter, and 2) my less tricky endeavor to create a new island persona.

While the reality is that in the past week I've completed 12 workouts, housed the equivalent number of cookies, ripped a pair of pants, broken a coffee pot, hiked 3 mountains and slammed 5 beers, 2 gin and tonics, and one "buff 'n' blue" lava flow, I still consider myself at least slightly different from the cynical Boston bid I was on the road to becoming. Try as I might to become a coy island mistress, the KTO spirit prevails, much as the Aloha spirit prevails throughout the Hawaiian isles. It can't easily or readily be changed, so it might be time to give a Hawaiian goodbye to all the 808 haters with a resounding "Aloha!".

You see, it goes both ways.

O'Neil Newsletter Part Deux

The first O'Neil newsletter was a smashing succes, as defined by the well-known and validated metrics of:
-Number of death threats given to Christine (2)
-Number of new relationships after Newsletter #1 (3--I really do lose at this "game")
-Absolute (and relative) increase in competitiveness among the O'Neil family with regards to dating, courting, and making things "Facebook Official"
-Number of non-O'Neils (NO'Neils) requesting a newsletter.

I therefore created Newsletter #2, and with that sealed my newsletter-writing fate.

Because of the extreme competitive nature of any person bearing the O'Neil surname, I will no longer be able to continue this trend under fear that my Boise abode will be destroyed either internally or externally.

For me, for now, for the near future, however, it's time to go back to the Rattlesnake!

Latest Updates....aka I need to get MOVING!

This is the newsletter I recently created to showcase how baller my family is and to create a friendly competition. I would not even mind if things got nasty and non-friendly (or even naan-friendly) because then I would have a better shot at winning (and that would be delicious).

1. Note: Christine is probably going to win. She can hula-hoop with fire
2. Let's reiterate. SHE CAN HULA HOOP WITH FIRE
3. I'm not sure you understand. Please watch this video. There's even a website!
4. I know, Megan is cute. Victoria lost $20 on amazon and has a fake venus flytrap. but Christine can hula-hoop with FIRE. When she moves in gay or straight bars, FLAMES SURROUND HER BODY. HER HIPS DO NOT LIE.
5. The gauntlet has been thrown.

Risky Bus-iness.

Blogging is hard work. Some would even say it is a full-time job, something that I now have (thus, less time for blogging). Having a job isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've covered the major pros and cons below:

Pros:
Getting money
Getting paid
Health Insurance
Subsidized MBTA card (good for "bus roulette"--see below)

Cons:
Less time for Indian lunch buffets
Riding the green line
Working

Having a job is good in the sense that I am conforming to societal norms and have a better-than average chance of retaining my social skills (which were becoming dangerously low on a 1-5 Likert scale of "How long can I carry on a conversation without referencing the bus schedule?" to "Shots! Shots! Shots!")

In that vein, I will take this time to discuss one of my newest and most masochistic pasttimes, which naturally involves the Boston MBTA. Because I have been injured, I have to think of more creative ways to challenge my mind with minutes on minutes of boredom each morning. One of the best ways to do this is via a little game I invented called "Bus Roulette". Bus Roulette is as follows:

To play, you (me, in this case, as nobody else in their right mind would want to participate in this "game") would walk out the door at roughly 5:14 a.m. and hop on the first bus in either direction. This will most likely not lead you anywhere near your destination as the bus system is neither linear nor direct. At the end of the bus line, you simply get off and get on the next bus, also probably headed the wrong direction. This is where the 5:14 departure time comes in handy--bus roulette can be played all morning! Get that morning commuter traffic, some tunes on the ipod, and you can have 3 hours of bus roulette all before work if you're lucky! I have been SO lucky lately, and even got to go to Lechmere AND Dudley Station all before my Tuesday 9 o'clock meeting! I really live large these days.

Additionally, Bus Roulette has given me lots of time to Scheme and Plan and think of things I regret saying or doing. Truly, Bus Roulette runs the gamut of emotions!

Gamut of Emotions:
>:(
:)
:P
<:O
:/
;)
8)

>:) This one is my favorite. It's the sneakiest.

Bus Roulette has also allowed me to categorize the buses based on "mythicality", as in how mythical the route is. The 1 bus, for example, is completely non-mythical. The 85 bus, however, is one of the MOST mythical. Anything with three digits is mythical as well and is NOT to be included in Bus Roulette (too high of stakes, might end up in Swampscott!!)

...And this is what happens to social skills. 2.5 and dropping, baby!!

Deals on Deals

It seems as though I have neglected to post for awhile. I am, however, incredibly busy, and cannot be a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants blogger; that would be irresponsible and selfish. Do not worry, each post is handcrafted and detailed to provide the utmost in reader experience.

I would like to use this space to discuss the hardships of living the life in the lap of loyalty. "Loyalty?", you may ask, "Isn't it the lap of luxury? And don't you live in EAST Cambridge? It's practically Compton with less sassy cheerleading and more annoying Harvard Quidditch players (another time....DON'T get me started.)!"

But yes, I do mean loyalty. I am the LOYALest of them all. If Snow White had to choose a different adjective besides, "fair", that one way sham mirror would have my face just ZOOMING out of it. If I were born 200 years earlier, I would single-handedly make up most of those English sympathists. In fact, compared to me, Lassie is practically Benedict Arnold!

But, not-so-loyal Tory readers, I can chalk up this extreme to the four following factors:

a) Extreme amount of Time on Hands (see "things on things")
b) Lack of a full time job
c) A limited income (see part b)
d) A competitive and enterprising spirit--TRUST me on this one.

As it turns out, there are many Deals To Be Had, if only one knows where to look. Pretty much any restaurant in the greater Boston area has a loyalty club just WAITING to be joined by hungry ex-lightweights like me who have multiple gmail addresses and daytime Twitter access. In any given day, I can buy one to get one free, celebrate my birthday (or half birthday--thank you Ben and Jerry's), or simply receive $20 off for my Indian predilection! Coupled with the scrill I get from my life as a serial psychology subject, I haven't had to make a non-cash, non-coupon transaction since Easter! I'm definitely going to need to "monetize" this shit (see previous posts, also see part b above)

Currently, I'm scoping some mad deals up north, in the honeymoon-worthy idyllic hamlet of Niagara Falls (according to a friend, "If Canadians were in charge of Las Vegas, it would be Niagara Falls"...I would say this is true, although Vegas has practically NO water, let alone an entire falls-full). We went on the Maid of the Mist, and I will say, she was no maiden--navigated those falls with nary a slip-up (but at least we had protection!) and tomorrow the Day of Deals is going to begin with a $30 Fun Pass, which includes Dinosaur minigolf and admission to the wax museum. a TRUE STEAL if ever there was one.

The last tip I will leave for those who wish to be loyal and savvy and cool like me (but not cooler than me, thank you Mike Posner) is that you probably won't come close. I am the loyalest. I will give a word of warning to anyone who reads Psychology journals, though, and that word (phrase, rather) is that any major studies coming out of Harvard in the next few years are most likely significantly KTO-centric in their data set. If a "Study on Developmental Cognition" shows the trend for 18-to-34-year olds to prefer the color purple, cupcakes, and well-priced Indian food, I would be very suspicious about those T-scores. Psych!

Overall, I need, in this order:

1. Beer
2. Beer
3. Job
4. Celebratory champagne (I have a job!--see #3)
5. Harp
6. A witty entourage of minions (I have a job now, someone has to scour for Deals!)
7. Respect and fear of others
8. A calzone--(15% off first online order from Mangiamo)
9. Bros on Bros
10. $22 dollars of candy from bulk barn

Done and Done.
No Limits, No Regrets, No Standards, No Shame.