Procrastination Central

Alright, before I start an outcry from the billions of people who follow my blog worldwide (oh hey Dane, Kelly, CARLY) I will begin by saying this will probably easily be the most disjointed post thus far. Many reasons exist for this lack of cohesion, including

1. hunger
2. it is 6:45 a.m. (veritably NOON in the old days! However, I am "retired" now)
3. The real world.

Ok, so a big part of the real world (and the fake world, actually) is procrastination. As a 20-something who has had the internet since about 6th grade, I have developed my procrastination skills from a young age (Neopets, anyone?). Recently, this has come in the form of such great sites as:

Pimpthatsnack.com which is my new personal favorite. Basically you think of a snack, and then you think of a way to make a GIANT version of said snack. It's pretty much my dream site. Now, when I am at work, I can make lists of snacks to pimp if I hit a roadblock on a project (so far I'm thinking: s'more, swedish fish, donut, cupcake EDIT: been done, apparently).

Crumbs Bakery . Honestly, this site is trouble because it has a "shipping" option. For those too scared to click the link, it is a link to a cupcake site which offers ZOOM on all cupcake flavors. This is more than I could honestly ask for, but now having it I get mad at other cupcake sites which do not offer the zoom feature on their cupcakes. How am I supposed to know which one to get without a 50x top and side view? PLEASE. just PLEASE.

On that vein, I would also like to mention that googling "cupcake" or "giant cupcake" or "best cupcake" takes up a large portion (most?) of my day....

In other news, I got into a semi-brawl with a lady on the subway. I did not know things like this happened in real life (or in fake life!), especially to people like mild-mannered Katie. Basically, I was texting away while riding the subway (again, a child of technology, texting is one of my fortes...also we have unlimited texting thanks to one of my sister's sprees). and I decided to browse through my old photos. While doing so, the light on my phone turned on I guess, and the lady sitting across the aisle from me thought I was taking a picture of her boyfriend. She proceeded to confront me, and the semi-brawl ensued (by semi-brawl, just think an argument like the ones that happen on Charm School). It was bizarre and a little traumatizing, but will be funny in a week or two. Also now. it is funny now.

Another anecdote of note: this site. Yes, I went on a CBD (nbd). I am not sure if blind dating is my thing, but one of my mottos is to do things for the story later. This was for sure one of those times, as the story is good but the experience was not.

Also, my roommate just got the Sims 3 (so while I play Civ3, she plays sims 3....we're really not great at the real world---fake world, though yes!) and so I have a virtual self I helped create. Except she is so lame! All she does is sit around and play computer games and does NOT go to any parties (she has a bf....) and so we made her host her own birthday party, but nobody came! She ate the cake by herself and then played some computer games. (my dad said my virtual self sounds like my real self. Except she has a fixie, and thus wayyyy more (fake) street cred.)

Also I just noticed this blog has a "monetize" option. hmmmmm. ($$$$$!)

As I am quickly becoming a hardened and embittered East Coast "biddie", my blog posts will undoubtedly take on a more jaded tone. However, it is hard to be TOO jaded when the MIT grad student you sublet from does not mention the giant flatscreen TV complete with cable he is leaving in his (your) apartment. ok now for the fun part: your=me!!! so yes. I get to watch TV on a flatscreen whenever I want!!! (like...when I work "remotely", for example).

Oh also I bought these (NOT VINTAGE). As Sonia says, they are like having a "perma-wink". So true, sonia. The bros will love it.

So while Bro-ston, MA, hasn't quite lived up to its hype, I can't say that it's let me down or made me completely jaded yet (I even saw a clover patch walking to work the other day!). We will see how this evolves as the winter sets in (judging by current weather patterns, this should be any day now) but for now, I am happy to think about cupcakes and avoid the subway at all costs. (both healthy activities, I would think).

The following is an excerpt from a recently re-uncovered story I wrote when I was about 8....it's a typical coming of age tale about...you guessed it...disabled orphans escaping an orphanage (also a feature-length film).

I awoke the next day to the sound of Xellian crying. Her metal leg had fallen off, and poor Xellian was at a loss. Grinchley, apparently, had torn the leg off because little Xellian had fallen off her bed and onto the hard stone floor. Grinchley had yelled and said “You Two! First it’s Illuna, and now you, Xellian. No meals for either of you till tomorrow!” and Grinchley promptly tore the leg off.

“Xellian, It’s Okay.” I said as I desperately tried to put the leg back on. The bold finally worked and Xellian was thrown against the wall (from the force). A strange sound was heard and the wall slid back to reveal a secret tunnel.

“Xelli!” I cried. “Grab the matches under the bed, and run and get Nora (and a big branch)! We can’t risk taking Kylee, she might be too much trouble!”

Xellian promptly returned with Nora and the biggest, bestest branch I have ever seen. Xellian got Gloria and I advanced toward the tunnel, but the narrow opening would not accept my wheelchair!

Nora pushed, and Xellian pulled, and I was pushing those wheels as hard as heck! Finally, and not a moment too soon, because Grinchley was opening the door, my wheelchair gave way to the tunnel’s opening. Inside the tunnel was much more spacious. Nora lit the torch, and signed to us that she was going to keep a diary. Xellian burst out with laughter when she heard Grinchley shouting, “Illuna! Xellian! Come back here and bring Nora with you!”. Like we’d listen to Grinchley. We creeped farther into the cave. Nora noticed a sliver of light coming through a stone. She peered through the opening. “Guys,” she signed, “look at this.” I wheeled over to her. “Nora! We’ve found a mirror!” As Nora and I gazed in awe, Xellian burst out in cry.

“Illuna! Nora!” she cried. “Sharks got Gloria!”

I reeled around in utter disbelief. 3 frothy rats were after Xellian’s doll.

“Help, guys!” Xellian pleaded.

Xellian was right. The rats did look like sharks. With cut tails, and torn ears, they were monstrous creatures. What was I to do? We ran. We ran and ran until

“Ouch!” I slammed into a wall. So did Xellian and Nora.We were trapped. All we could see was a hole with a sliver of silver moonlight. Nora had a brilliant idea. She reflected the light with the mirror. The moonlight was enough to see by, so with our torch, the room was lit. Nora signed to us to go to sleep while she wrote in her diary. Xellian crawled into my lap, and we fell asleep to the sound of Nora chip-chip-chipping away at a slab of rock.